omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
