I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
