i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I am available for nakedness
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
