did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
