i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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