We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
