I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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