i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
