opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
