it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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