Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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