Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
