you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
