Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
