So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
