Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
