She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
