Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
