Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
