he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
