It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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