I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its liver damage thursday
Randomize