Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
