the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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