so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
false alarm, still single
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize