be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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