Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
