is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
