you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
