Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
