my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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