True but thats because hes a fetus.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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