I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
