Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
