Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
