"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
