she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
