We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
