it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
