your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
