Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
