erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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