How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
