Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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