How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Be still, my beating vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
