bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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