I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
