I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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