Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
