Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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