dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
