His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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