update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He passed out mid-signature
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
