tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
