My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
