I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sorry about my life...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
