Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
