another moral hangover. fuck.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
