dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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